Last Updated on September 2, 2020
“You can tell more about a person’s character,
not by their mistakes
but by the ways they respond to their mistakes.”
(Dr. Les Carter)
Les Carter speaks on some indicators that show up in some people that are signs that they won’t learn from their mistakes. Basically, because they don’t believe that they make mistakes. These are narcissists. This is a character flaw. Or as scripture puts it; a breach in the spirit (Pr 15:4).
Here are 8 Indicators you’re dealing with a high-level narcissist.
- If I don’t get caught, then the mistake wasn’t really a mistake.
- When a mistake has been made – they ascribe responsibility to someone else. [This is deflecting]
- They assume that shallow pleasantries can cancel out what went wrong.
- Acting out of fear of being devalued. Highly dependent on opinion and being received.
- Very low inclination toward introspection. Not asking the why question. Let’s just move on.
- Uncomfortable with tender emotions. It’s unnatural to them. Lack of empathy.
- Repeatedly appeal to a Grading System – a Pecking Order. They have to be on the high end.
- A weak, or no, understanding of Intimacy. No attachments with their negatives exposed.
Narcissists can’t admit weakness or personal frailties. They can’t say; “I can do better.” “I blew it.” “My character is at stake here.” “I need to do some serious soul searching.” “I don’t blame you for feeling hurt.” It’s just not in their vocabulary that they could be at fault.
Some people say that we never learned anything by doing it right, that we only learn from doing something wrong – our mistakes. Well, some people don’t learn even from mistakes (or wrongs) they just keep on committing them – often, as in narcissism, they don’t admit them as mistakes (as above). They would rather blame someone else for what happened. They wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for [fill in the blank]. Proverbs instructs us that a wise man learns from other’s mistakes – he doesn’t have to learn from doing them himself – that would be foolish (Pr 21:11, 13:20). Walk with wise men and learn from them, forsake the foolish who always have to do things wrong to figure out that it’s wrong (Pr 1:5, 9:6, 13:20).
Watch how they respond to their mistakes (Mt 7:20).
A wholesome tongue is a tree of life:
but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.
Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, TX. In the past 40 years, he has conducted more than 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
Sign up for his email list and check out his other videos, articles, quizzes, and more at his website: http://survivingnarcissism.tv
Dr. Carter’s personal website: http://drlescarter.com/
Dr. Carter’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIELB1mz8wMKIhB6DCmTBlw
Dr. Carter’s other YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/drlescarter